Sound of Our Revolution | June 2022: Never Trust A Tory

Contributed by Jonny Collins


I feel like this month’s playlist theme goes without saying. If we have literally any readers who had any doubt that the Tories are self-serving, misanthropic elitists who govern purely for their own interests and couldn’t give a fuck what happens to us – then I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe listen even a little bit. This is not a radical take for us. It’s functionally how I greet everyone at this point. “Good morning, the Tories are cunts, have a nice day.”

But with the recent developments of Boris’ no confidence vote, barely winning it, and the upcoming (or recent, depending on when this is published) by-elections – this seems like an appropriate time to review Tory rule over the decades, and specifically the best protest songs against them from every generation.

I usually just order the songs in a somewhat arbitrary way, only really making an effort to ease genre changes into each other so the playlist flows as well as it can. But this time I’m trying to create a timeline of all the Tories’ crimes and actions. Not necessarily in song release order, but the themes of the songs will be in a mostly starting in the Pre-Thatcher Tory days, and ending in the present Boris hellscape.

This playlist may have also beaten the record for the number of tracks for the “short”-list – having to cut down about 9 hours’ worth of content to less than 80 minutes. So if there’s a song you’re disappointed to not see on here, I will have considered it, but for one reason or another it didn’t make the cut. The competition was incredibly strong, and there’s only so many times we can call Thatcher a cunt before songs start getting repetitive.

Because of this I’ve introduced harsh criteria that every song has to be explicitly about the Tories, a specific Tory, or something the Tories did. Nothing that vaguely alludes to the right in general, or political commentary applicable to but not exclusive to the Tories. This did mean I lost some strong contenders, but these blogs are long enough as they are, so let’s just go with it.

Also don’t expect to see much John Major hate on this playlist. Not because he wasn’t that bad or anything, he’s just as bad as the rest of them. But I was unable to find any tracks that name dropped Major specifically.

And, thinking about it, when your predecessor brought in some of the most infamous homophobic legislation post WWII, started a war in the Falklands to secure her leadership, shut down the mining industry, oversaw the AIDS Epidemic with no action, stole the milk from schools, killed Cliff Burton instead of Lars Ulrich, crashed the video game industry by releasing E.T. The Extra Terrestrial on Atari 2600, and I don’t know punched your dog in the face. The fact that you had a weird obsession with cones and made the trains a bit more shit than they already were doesn’t inspire quite as much animosity as his contemporaries.

#1: Doing It For The Whigs – The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing

Genre: Punk

Year: 2012

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://blamedfornothing.bandcamp.com/track/doing-it-for-the-whigs

Starting way back with everyone’s favourite Victorian themed Crust Punk band, this song references a period very early in British Politics (or British democracy at least). It’s depressing to think that the modern day Conservative and Unionist party has its roots going way back to the 19th century Tory party – long before the majority had a vote, and in days where politicians held even less accountability to the people than they do now. But equally it explains Jacob Rees Mogg, who I think has had his seat since at least 1868.

This song is an anti Tory anthem in its very purest sense – advocating for one of the party’s historic primary opposition parties “The Whigs”. This song is incredibly bouncy and motivational and has been a staple of my own personal playlists every time I’ve gone to vote since my very first election in 2015 (sorry you’re all old).

While I don’t know how the Whigs would measure up to the current Tory opposition on many modern-day social issues (not that the bar is all that high). They were an incredibly important force for change in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries – and for the times definitely preferable to Tory reign.

Regardless, this song is great to jump and sing along to at any anti-Tory occasion (which for me, is all occasions, including protesting, voting, debating, pooping, ordering take out and fornication) and you can substitute ‘Whigs’ for whatever opposition party, or none you prefer.

Although do it in your head please. If you start singing “We’re doing it for the Libs” I won’t ever be seen in public with you again.

Also, my toxic trait is that I only just realized “Revolution spreads across the world, and we could end up like the French, and nobody wants that” was referring to the French revolution beheading their monarch – and the British monarchy not wanting that to happen to them – and not just classic inconsequential French xenophobia. Yes, I am definitely qualified for this club, why do you ask?

#2: Margaret Thatcher, We Still Hate You – Terry Edwards and the Scapegoats

Genre: Funk

Year: 1995

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://terryedwards.bandcamp.com/track/margaret-thatcher-we-still-hate-you

I have no insight on this artist, but I don’t think I’ve heard anything that sounds like this song, and it’s about Thatcher being a cunt, so I stuck it on anyway. Why not.

#3: Let’s Start A War – Said Maggie One Day

Genre: Punk

Year: 1983

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Remember when Thatcher sent a bunch of Brits to die in the Falklands to boost her popularity rating leading to many needless deaths? I mean I don’t, because I wasn’t born for about 12 years afterwards but it’s well documented history at this point. Just another way in which Tony Blair had to try and out-Thatcher Thatcher 20 years later. I’m so glad we’re going back to New Labour ideas and tactics, which went so well for us last time. It doesn’t count as a victory over the Tories if it’s just a different party enacting Tory policy.

#4: All Out – Public Service Broadcasting

Genre: Indie

Year: 2017

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://publicservicebroadcasting.bandcamp.com/track/all-out

This track doesn’t reference Tories specifically, but it is about the Miner’s strike, which is a huge part of Thatcher’s legacy.

This track is kind of an ambient, almost black metal-y series of riffs underneath samples of ex-miners talking about the strikes. However, you describe the sound, it hugely captures the gravity of the strikes, the betrayal of the police, and the determination of the strikers.

A perfect capsule of protest and Tory history, lovingly crafted by PSB.

#5: Never Trust A Tory/Pokémon City Limits – Onsind

Genre: Punk

Year: 2013

Streaming On: Spotify, YouTube

Buy Here: https://onsind.bandcamp.com/album/anaesthesiology

So, for ages I was wondering why this track wasn’t on Spotify, then I realized it’s labelled as a different title. Pokémon City Limits is the official title – although Never Trust a Tory is the chorus refrain, and arguably a more apt title.

This song is all about advice between generations: a grandad in the 90s telling a child an important life lesson, which now they’re grown up is still very fucking important. Due to this song’s set time, this is probably the closest this list has to anything referencing John Major – but even he’s not mentioned by name. Genuinely almost sad.

When Thatcher died, the whole country celebrated, and “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” skyrocketed up the charts. To this day bands are still singing about how awful she was and the things she did are still having ripples across British politics. John Major could’ve died 10 months ago and literally none of us would’ve noticed. The article will be all over social media and we’ll all be like “Who?” Absolute melt.

(Editor’s note: Being in a venue so crowded the queue was half way down the street for the entire show, singing this song with 600 other people was one of my highlights of Manchester Punk Festival this year. Absolute fucking banger.)

#6: Breadline Britain – The Communards

Genre: Synth-Pop

Year: 1986

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breadline-Britain/dp/B078B6BW2Y

Another track where I’ve bent the rule slightly as it doesn’t mention Tories by name, but it was a track from 1986 about decrepit Britain, the failure of democracy, and class disparity – so I don’t think it takes a genius to infer the inspiration for this track.

Also, another example of how little has actually changed since the 80s in many of the core issues. Sure, we all have Wordle now, but poverty is still rampant and many parts of the country with high populations have been abandoned by the political elites due to low electoral use, and prioritizing money and developments to the already well off.

#7: We Love Your Apathy – Skunk Anansie

Genre: Alternative Rock

Year: 1996

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/We-Love-Your-Apathy-Explicit/dp/B086L7QL8V

My gaydar is terrible, I only just realized Skin from Skunk Anansie is queer as fuck. That’s not relevant to this song, but how did I only find this out – just when I thought I could’ve love her more. Absolute icon.

Okay turns out I bend rules a lot – this one also doesn’t strictly mention Tories. But once again it’s all about how those in power thrive off voter apathy and plan their oppression in a way that just leaves you depressed rather than angry – so instead of taking action against them, you just deal with it and mope.

One of the many ways in which Tories cling to power for so long. They had 5 years of basically unchecked austerity and corruption under Cameron. From there everything started going wrong for them – but using divide and conquer, apathy, political illiteracy, and a huge propaganda machine have hung on for over twice as long as that. Please don’t let it continue any longer.

#8: Thatcher Fucked The Kids – Frank Turner

Genre: Folk

Year: 2008

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://frank-turner.bandcamp.com/track/thatcher-fucked-the-kids-2

I mean, I don’t think she did, but she was bezzie mates with Saville, so it’s not impossible.

Yeah, this one speaks for itself. Discussing Thatcher’s ripples even after losing power and her life. I said ripples, not nipples, dw. Brexit and Boris’ bullshit will likely have the same effect for the next half a century. Fantastic.

#9: No Gods, No Money – Faintest Idea

Genre: Ska

Year: 2012

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, YouTube

Buy Here: https://faintestidea.bandcamp.com/album/the-voice-of-treason

“Who’s the real rioters, who’s the real looters in this country? The FUCKING TORIES.”

Says it all really. Faintest Idea know how to use their samples to underline their political points, absolute masters at it.

#10: My Favourite Fact About Maggie – Smoking Gives You Big Tits

Genre: Folk Punk

Year: 2020

Streaming On: Spotify

Buy Here: https://smokinggivesyoubigtits.bandcamp.com/track/my-favourite-fact-about-maggie

Still don’t understand why this song is only on Spotify and nothing else. Not even on YouTube except for a live version (which is also great to be fair!)

Also, they’re from Salford, so I love them even more now.

Oh yeah, this song is about how Thatcher is dead btw.

(Editor’s note: Smoking Gives You Big Tits just dropped some bitchin’ merch and you should buy some for yourself and also me, thank you.)

#11: Old Blue Witch – Fit and the Conniptions

Genre: Folk Punk

Year: 2017

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://music.conniptions.org/album/old-blue-witch

Following on from a celebration track about Thatcher’s death, this track grounds us a little bit by reminding us that despite her death, her legacy and damage is still very much present in legislation, bigotry, lives cut short, and most recently a fucking statue.

The fact is, while we continue to have fascist Tories or even useless neoliberals in charge, Thatcher is functionally still alive, and still impacting our lives today. Yes, celebrate her death – but let’s give her a proper death too and undo all the harm she’s done to queer communities, working classes, and all millennials and younger.

#12: Give Us Something Worth Voting For – The Tuts

Genre: Pop Punk

Year: 2016

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://thetuts.bandcamp.com/track/give-us-something-worth-voting-for

The other side of the coin with that last point – is that while our options continue to be all universally bad, there’s only so much we can do. Some commentators will say the left just needs to suck it up and get behind Starmer so we can get the Tories out. But they weren’t saying this when half of Labour voters abandoned the party during Corbyn’s time.

It’s all well and good saying we need to vote against the Tories more than we need to vote for anyone in particular – but unless there’s an actual alternative, I can’t blame anyone for not seeing the point.

I’ll probably continue to vote Labour because our MP is pretty great, but that is very much a vote for her, and not Labour. If she left the party tomorrow, she’d still get my vote, and not Labour. Give us something worth voting for.

#13: Tories Tories Tories (Out Out Out) – Angelic Upstarts

Genre: Punk

Year: 2015

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tories-Out-out-Explicit/dp/B017391J00

There were lots of variations of this song, some with Tories, some with names of specific PMs – I went with this one as an all encompassing fuck off to the Tories, but you can’t go wrong with any of them.

#14: We Wrote This Song Before David Cameron Resigned – Throwing Stuff

Genre: Hardcore

Year: 2017

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, YouTube

Buy Here: https://throwingstuff.bandcamp.com/album/fit-fine-well

There’s actually not a lot of name dropping for Cameron in the tracks I sourced for this playlist either. In fact, people seem to have mostly forgotten about him. While Boris is far worse in his comparatively short time in office, Cameron was instrumental in dismantling a lot of protections and public services, he just bailed before most of the consequences became apparent to the public.

Don’t forget, despite campaigning for Remain, Cameron is very much the reason why Brexit happened in the first place. Promising a Brexit referendum was a foolish tactic in order to gain a majority and get rid of Clegg despite unpopular performance otherwise – and that decision, whilst not the only one that got us to where we are now, was an early step in making it irreversible.

Yeah, this song’s about Cameron, his flaws and scandals, and celebrating his resignation. Things got objectively worse after he resigned – but only because he knew they’d get bad anyway and didn’t want to get blamed for it. So, if you do see David Cameron anywhere, remind him that all of this is his fault.

#15: Cull The Tories – The Menstrual Cramps

Genre: Punk

Year: 2017

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://themenstrualcramps.bandcamp.com/album/were-not-ovaryacting

Getting onto May now – this track actually had an updated version in 2019 for Boris – but this one scans better.

This was the last edition to this playlist, but I had to include it for the brilliant chorus alone. Listing the things we can save by “Culling” the Tories – starting with badgers and foxes, ending with the world. Absolute class song writing – and completed with an upbeat jangly punk riff makes it a fantastic song all around.

#16: Welfare Warfare – Wadeye

Genre: Punk

Year: 2016

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://wadeye.bandcamp.com/

Welfare has been under attack for decades. It didn’t start with Theresa May, although it absolutely sharply declined in even the 3 years she was in charge. There is no magic money tree after all.

Literally one of the only things you can say about Thatcher is she didn’t really touch the NHS – not in the way that Cameron, May and especially Johnson have been doing at any rate. It’s very much one of the last ethical systems in this country to fall – and one of the last semblances of a genuine Labour policy.

I could go on and on about how this is an inevitability under unchecked capitalism – eventually growth has to slow down or stop. But before that, we will continue to privatize everything until there is nothing left. This war has already been lost. We absolutely cannot afford to leave the Tories in another second longer than they have to be.

#17: Listen (For Theresa May) – Madders Tiff

Genre: Grime

Year: 2018

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Listen-For-Theresa-May-Explicit/dp/B07DBL88W7

I don’t know much about Madders Tiff, but if her other work is anything like this then I’m definitely keen to check out more of it. Incredible flow, great lyrical ability, complimentary instrumentals that make this one of the most devastating takedowns of Theresa May I’ve ever heard. If she can do this again for Boris, we might actually get rid of him before 2042.

#18: Farewell to Welfare – Grace Petrie

Genre: Folk

Year: 2018

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://gracepetrie.bandcamp.com/track/farewell-to-welfare-3

Back onto the Welfare theme, we have our obligatory Grace Petrie track. This is one of the first ones I fell in love with, lamenting the loss of the Welfare state, lack of true activists with any meaningful power to change and opposition.

The most powerful line is “I used to dream of a Britain where I’d be proud to bring up kids – now I’d settle for a Britain in which I’d be allowed to bring up kids”. Fucking brutal stuff – followed up with an offer to May to take all her taxes and contributions to the country elsewhere, if she doesn’t think gays should be allowed to raise children. This was the song that made me realize Petrie wasn’t just a Twitter icon, but a genuinely talented singer songwriter with a lot to say, and a talent for saying it.

#19: That One Percent – The Human Project

Genre: Punk

Year: 2018

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://thehumanproject.bandcamp.com/album/clarion-call

I’ve talked about this song far too many times – the lyrics are fairly applicable for almost any of our playlist themes – but this one’s whole point is about the rich representing the interests of the rich and making it the working class’s problem to recover the debts. It also name drops the Tory manifesto, so absolutely worthy of this list.

#20: Kill Tory Scum (Before They Kill You) – Killdren

Genre: Rave Punk

Year: 2018

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://killdren.bandcamp.com/track/kill-tory-scum-before-they-kill-you

Apparently, this band got banned from Glastonbury for this song. A song all about Tory violence being acceptable and a threat to the lives and livelihoods of nearly everyone in this country. A song that’s so cartoony and obviously tongue in cheek and not even close to legitimate threats of violence.

It’s so amazing to me the dichotomy of the right – who will decry cancel culture, but quite happily have a band taken off of a music festival ‘cause of a song they didn’t like.

Absolutely wild.

I’ll clarify that I don’t actually recommend or endorse murder – but I do fully endorse this song. It’s an excellent satire of Tory policy, and has a really fun rave beat – Punk instrumental that means you just can’t help bopping along to it. Wonderful stuff.

#21: Bullingdon Boys – Madness

Genre: Ska

Year: 2019

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bullingdon-Boys/dp/B081VSZ11T

Madness had an album out in 2019, what?

Madness are a band that have had their issues for sure – but they’ve very obviously never been Tories – and their 2019 track Bullingdon Boys is all about the Boris Johnsons and David Camerons of the world, privileged bullies who walk into high end jobs and politics without so much as a speed bump in the way. These aren’t friends of the people. Boris is not one of you, he is a posh bully who has never had things not go his way and lashes out when he has to do anything or face any repercussions for his actions. Hopefully, finally this is clear to everyone. But the by-elections will tell I suppose.

As it’s a Madness track you can pretty much guess how it’ll sound, and this track doesn’t disappoint. Not one of their most memorable riffs, but still very well executed two-tone, nonetheless.

#22: See You In Hell – Common Sense Kid

Genre: Punk

Year: 2021

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://commonsensekid.bandcamp.com/track/see-you-in-hell

Obviously Common Sense Kid’s defamation of Jacob Rees Mogg belongs here. Wow, Jacob Rees Mogg has more tracks on this list than John Major. Tragic.

#23: The Saccharine Drip – The Dowling Poole

Genre: Power Pop

Year: 2021

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://369music.bandcamp.com/track/the-saccharine-drip

This is a bonkers power-pop throwback to the early days of glam rock in Britain – not unlike an old Queen track riff wise.

Lyrically this song is a bit all over the place – buy specifically calls out the NHS getting sold to Serco and gatekeeping healthcare to the “Worthy”. The line “Owing to the Credit Crunch, we’ve had to privatize democracy” is as brilliant as it is cheesy.

Honestly, I’m still not even sure if this song is intended to be a serious political anthem, or a nonsense anthem that throws in political talking points for the hell of it – but either way it works.

#24: Fuck The Tories – LS

Genre: Hip-Hop

Year: 2021

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.com/Fuck-Tories-Explicit-Ls/dp/B08SC6N6M4

Trying to Google this artist is a nightmare let me tell you. Make your name something recognizable please – and for the love of God don’t stop making music this good.

#25: Boris Johnson Is Still A Fucking Cunt – The Kunts

Genre: Punk

Year: 2021

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://kuntandthegang.bandcamp.com/track/boris-johnson-is-still-a-fucking-cunt

This track was 90% of the motivation for doing this list NGL.

#26: Something Rising – Mista Trick

Genre: Fusion

Year: 2021

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://mistatrick.bandcamp.com/album/you

Mista Trick is a fascinating artist – Vaudeville drum n’ bass with Jazz and rap elements. It shouldn’t work but it really does. This track is all about inflation and can apply perfectly to the cost-of-living crisis, even if not explicitly intended do.

This song does not fuck about – one of the catchiest hooks of all time – and the rap breakdown at the end, perfection.

#27: New England – Kid Kapichi

Genre: Punk

Year: 2022

Streaming On: Deezer, Spotify, Tidal, YouTube

Buy Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09LSFD4YQ/

I have been listening to this track nonstop since I first heard it a couple of months ago. Released at the beginning of this year, Kid Kapichi’s “New England” might already be the best Brit-punk song of the year. Killer riffs in the verses, clear, meaningful lyrics that aren’t afraid to get quintessentially cockney silly, a brilliant chorus hook – a guest verse from the brilliant Bob Vylan, and a music video reminiscent of the golden age of British alternative.

Once again, the song doesn’t explicitly talk about the Tories, but it does repeatedly make reference to Tory voters voting for the rich and heartless for increasingly tenuous reasons – and pointing to a picture of Thatcher, so that counts in my book.

Brilliant track to end a brilliant collection of anti-Tory songs, which will hopefully give you some catharsis, whatever the results of the by-elections are.


So that’s our “Never Trust a Tory” playlist (as if you needed reminding). You can stream this playlist on Deezer, Spotify, Tidal or YouTube (please note not all platforms have every track).

Come watch us talk shit about Tories on Twitch.TV/blizzardcomedy on the 27th of June with Bobbie Jones, Thom Bee, Leslie Ewing-Burgesse, Eddie French, Sian Davies & Daniel Innis from 7:30pm – or book tickets to one of our upcoming live shows – all details on our Facebook Events Page: https://www.facebook.com/BlizzardComedy/events

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