A Tweet that became a thread that has snowballed into a book, Klopp Actually expands on Laura Lexx’s fantasy marriage to football manager Jurgen Klopp. Inspired by Klopp’s statement that his opinion about COVID-19 isn’t important compared to the advice of knowledgeable experts, it imagines what a relationship would be like with someone whose approach to decision making is so sensible.
The book isn’t a typical narrative driven novel. Instead, it is broken down into singular experiences, usually less than the length of a page, much in the same vein as the Tweets that inspired the book. It spans the course of a year, jumping between genuinely lovely slices of a happy domestic life.
Each little chapter describes some common occurrence, sometimes just a normal feeling, usually something that might wind you up. Klopp then steps in to say just the right thing to make everything feel a bit better. Finally, each one wraps up with a delightful euphemism for how Laura plans to express her appreciation for his input.
The wrap up for each section is genuinely hilarious. It’s impossible to get through this book without laughing out loud a handful of times. The euphemisms are really funny and, while sometimes get a bit graphic, are usually sweet and wholesome at the same time.
The book as a whole is cute and silly and reads like a love letter to the mundane, everyday problems that used to take up so much mental energy before pandemics and governmental incompetence took over. The way it’s broken down into concise chapters makes it really easy to read, either in small chunks around a busy life or over of the course of one relaxed afternoon.
Every page of Klopp Actually is rich with that sense of safety you feel when someone knows what they’re talking about. It shows the relief of having someone sensible around you who can calmly and analytically take control of a situation that is causing you a perhaps irrational amount of stress and anxiety.
At the best of times, it’s not uncommon to take out frustrations with the wider world on minor inconveniences. Right now, when the world is ravaged by plague and not a single person with any authority seems to be capable of handling the chaos or taking any responsibility, that feeling – even fictional – is an enormous comfort.
It’s lovely to lose yourself in the fantasy of an ordinary life with not only normal problems, but the support of someone who helps you navigate every hump in the road.
Klopp Actually is available in hardback, eBook and audio now. Visit the Two Roads Books website to find a supplier.